B had a day off.

J went to school and saw his counselor.

Both of them are too devoted to online multi-player games.  Okay, okay, a little bit of the pot calling the kettle black, but I don't think I have ever suggested that stopping play would kill me.  B said that if he took the time to call my cell to help me find it, he would die.  He meant his character, but that ain't what he said.

C went to school, attended Girl Scout International Night.  Called me up after I dropped her off all upset because she didn't have her permission slip.  That's because she never gave it to me.  Naturally she called when it was too late to go to the library, which closes early on Friday.  I managed to get the slip to the event, which made J a couple of minutes late to his appointment, exacerbated by inexplicably horrible traffic in Morristown.  I got an email from C's English teacher requesting she do homework over the weekend that was due this past week; if she turns it in she will get partial credit which is better than none.

I went to physical therapy for my feet, which seemed to do some temporary good, much of which was undone by the crisis stress.  (As you can probably tell from above, I did a lot of driving around.)  The exercises I have been assigned make my foot pain worse, although I suppose they are lengthening my calf muscles.  It's hell getting old.

A few spates of graupel fell this afternoon and evening (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graupel).  Not enough to impact anything, but interesting to look at.  It remains entirely too cold.  I recently found my fingerless gloves, which are a help.  I did see a few shoots pushing up through the mulch at the library; probably tulips or daffodils.

Tomorrow is another day.

After many fits and starts and stops, we made it to the Hot Springs, AR, Country Inn and Suites. Nice enough place, but the pool closes at 10pm (instead of midnight, like most of the Inns), and opens at 9am (instead of 6am, ditto). I programmed in Country Inn and Suites, Hot Springs, and the GPS snaked us all over rural Arkansas, enventually taking us to a vacant lot on a state hwy about 10 or 11 miles south of Hot Springs. I got much better results when I programmed in the actual street address.

I was going to do this post about half an hour ago, while Bob "negotiated" with the adolescents about sleeping slots. Carly and Jamie both wanted to set up a cot under the window by the AC unit. To complicate things, Bob requested a fold-out bed. I went in the room to drop off the chocolate that I didn't want to have melt in the car, and Bob was flipping coins. That was when I grabbed the netbook and headed to the breakfast room. The signal here is really low, and I was having trouble connecting. Bob came out, and, as usual, asked me to tidy up the negotiations, while he remedied the computer issues. Carly was sitting on her suitcase, pouting, next the the folded out fold-out, which almost completely blocked access to the bathroom. Jamie was insisting that the fold-out would fit by the window/AC unit which would make Carly happy and he would sleep on his cot by the bathroom (which was what Carly wanted in the first place, expecting to use her cot, which would have saved us the fee for the fold-out. I'm so confused!) Carly was sure it wouldn't fit. I did a rapid assessment, and told her it would fit. The only problem was the armchair in that space, which Jamie picked up and started waving around, though there was no place to put it down.

The long and the short is: Carly is sleeping in the fold-out (not her cot), by the window. We moved the armchair over near the bathroom, but not close enough to block same. Billy has the second bed. Jamie is sleeping on a cot next to the bathroom. I came back to the breakfast area and I got my computer connected to the appropriate network. And I probably have another ulcer for my gastroenterologist to find at my next EGD.

Tomorrow is another day. Time to find a Starbucks.

To live a sustainable life

I always seem to blog when I'm in a bad mood.

I'm in a bad mood right now because I have a bad cold and/or a sinus infection. I'm also listening to one of the most guilt provoking books I have ever read, "No Impact Man" by Colin Beavan. It doesn't help that I am listening to the book while I drive my <20 mpg mom-mobile to work, eating my *bucks breakfast in disposable cup and paper wrappers, thus adding hypocrisy to the list of guilts along with profligate waste.

I am trying to do better, at least in fits and starts. I have the front loading washer, and I run it with full loads (usually after the kids complain about not having any clean clothes to wear). Hubbie and I have 3 comforters on our bed so we can keep the thermostat extra low at night. We recycle lots of paper - WAY too much paper - but we feel marginally better that we don't just throw it in the trash. I keep planning gardens, but it ends up being a frustrating battle with cutworms, slugs, rabbits, woodchucks, and unpredictable droughts and floods. I seem to have a little better luck with containers, but they are painfully expensive.

This week I bought a trial box of produce from a local coop. It's organic, which is good. The selection, though, was bizarre. Citrus fruit - ok, I can deal with that, sort of. At least it's in season, though it is no way, no how, local. You can't grow lemon, orange, grapefruit trees in NJ, at least not the last time I checked. With climate change, maybe, but I don't think so. Apples - OK, possibly local, and stored from the fall harvest. Bananas? Kiwi fruit? Grapes ? A tomato?!? Even the spinach is suspicious, although not impossible. Collards - OK, now I just have to figure out what to do with them. And butternut squash, another possible holdover from last fall. Sweet potatoes, carrots. There was also a bell pepper. That was the other thing, lots of variety, generally in very small quantities. I think I'm going to have to look around for a local farm that sells shares of produce for the summer. This coop just doesn't compute for me.

I had been wondering a lot prior to starting this book about some of the questions that Colin raises. I wonder why I am working. I enjoy it, especially when we get really busy. That's a good thing. Hubbie thinks it is good for my mental health to be out of the house, which may be true, except that it is also majorly guilt producing for me. If I were home, maybe I could make the house a more pleasant place to be. I am definitely not working for the money. Most of my income goes to pay for things we wouldn't need if I were not working, like childcare and take-out meals (more paper and plastic, argh!), and clothing for the office and gas to get me to the office.

In one way hubbie is absolutely right, though, about working away from home. I get very frustrated when I am home alone with my children. I love them dearly, make no mistake. They are all heading into adolescence, which is a difficult time, but being a semi-single mother is particularly stressful. I have to balance my own ideas about what is best for the kids with hubbie's, but he is usually not around to help when things go awry. I don't have the ultimate freedom to say yes or no, as I must always check with hubbie about his opinion. I feel second-guessed at every turn, and the kids have picked up on this, leading them to imitate the behavior.

Probably just as well no one looks at this blog. Maybe I will share this entry with hubbie.

I'm still alive, willy-nilly!

Is everybody ready?

Are you getting ready?

Are you waiting with anticipation?

Contrary to all the hoopla on TV and other media, it is NOT Christmas, nor is it the Christmas season. The season of Christmas begins on December 25th.

This is Advent, the start of the Christian liturgical year, a time of preparation for the coming of the incarnate God, that is, Jesus.

Everyone is in such a rush these days to get to the finish, that too often the process is overlooked. Gotta get rich FAST! Gotta get married NOW! Gotta get a house NOW! Gotta get whatever fancy catches the eye, IMMEDIATELY!

I remember Carly Simon's song (later used in a ketchup commercial) "Anticipation." Waiting seems to be so passe these days. Whatever happened to delayed gratification (a sign, once upon a time, of maturity)?

I understand why clothing designers have to show their lines six or seven months in advance; time must be available to manufacture the choices of the retail buyers (that's not consumers, by the by, folks). Why do the stores, though, have to have clothing in stock two or three months before it will be useful? Who wants to shop for a bathing suit in February or March (unless a vacation is imminent)?

I think there would be fewer complaints about the winter doldrums if the seasons weren't so rushed. Christmas has twelve days, ending as Epiphany begins, a season that lasts until Ash Wednesday. Now there's a season that has been totally forgotten, except in a few places down South that use it to segue into Mardi Gras.

Okay, granted that Lent is a quiet, reflective season, marked by eating the remains of the previous harvest and cold weather (in most of North America). It doesn't have to be joyless, of course. People never need to be joyless, especially when they can share in the abundance of this nation, and live in the knowledge of the grace of God.

Just as Advent prepares us for the incarnation, Lent prepares us for the even greater gift of salvation, and ultimately for the gift of the spirit of God (Pentecost, FYI).

The Christian calendar is not biblical, just as the Bible is fabulous in many respects. But the seasons provide a rhythm for living, and have the power to remind all of God's children how to respect the creation, including the planet Earth, our island home.

The seasons outlined in the liturgy of the Christian church sprang from the seasons of the northern hemisphere; perhaps that should be reckoned with and adjusted in the southern hemisphere. Jesus wasn't born on December 25th, so maybe the folks down under should go about the pentecostal ministry of the church during their summer. Now that would be a puzzle in the global community, one I am not fitted to solve.

I bid you a thoughtful Advent.

Random Notes....

I learned yesterday that Oscar was originally orange and that Cookie Monster had teeth. Go figure. I remember discovering Sesame Street when I was eleven and public television was still pretty new. I also remember feeling frustrated watching the same show with my own children and scratching my head at the changes, missing characters, new characters, etc. It all looked way too clean to be a city street. My favorite song when watching, lo, those many years ago was about all the street signs, and I can't find anything on the web about that song (...uptown, downtown, Fifth Avenue, home sweet home....). *SIGH*

How ironic that Goldman Sachs got H1N1 vaccine, and my children's pediatrician can't get any flu vaccine at all. Guess those fatcats need extra immunity protection, so they can keep throwing their (over)weight around. Back early in the twentieth century, if a company was too big to fail, it was called a trust and got busted into a bunch of little companies. Maybe that is what needs to happen to these monolithic financial institutions. At times in the last twenty years, these big banks have reminded me a bit of vacuum cleaners, sucking up smaller banks and spitting customer service out the side.

There is a big difference between willing to die for your faith (beliefs, religion, values), and being willing to kill for same. It's a shame Dr. Hasan ignored the difference. I pray that religious extremists of all types will experience epiphanies about those whom they demonize.

Apparently the best exercise to prevent osteoporosis is jumping up and down. I'm guessing that since that little tidbit made it into the NY Times, sales of jump ropes will soar. Gotta love America, home of the hunt for the quick fix.

I had a great idea last weekend to use my slow cooker to prepare dinner for my children, and hence reduce the take-out/eat out urge. The kids are home in the afternoon, and I don't get home until about dinnertime; Dad comes home very late (his choice). So far it has happened once this week. Still, I figure it's worth continuing to plug away. Today I'm thinking it might be easier to pile everything together and get it going after I get to work. That way I arrive home with hot food, and it might even feel like take-out to the kids, and therefore get kudos thence.

Tan Their Hydes

Thank God for those godless Europeans who actually recognize that in our modern world where health care does some good, health care should be universal, without conditions, strings, or provisos. People who are well should be encouraged to stay that way, and people who are sick should be cared for until they get better and can manage, effectively, by themselves.

I am so offended that a religious lobby got their way in determining how health care is to be provided/funded (in our society those are realistically one and the same) to citizens of this country (and non-citizens as well; consider that tourists often receive health care as needed when visiting other countries). Since when do we live in a theocracy? Why should one self-proclaimed Christian group get to make decisions for the members of other Christian churches, not to mention all the non-Christians who live in this country, pay their taxes, vote their consciences, serve in the military and otherwise fulfill their duties as citizens? A whole lot of things get funded with my taxes that I don't approve of, even abhor, but I have little choice in the matter because that is the way the government has decided to spend the tax dollars. The only means I have for changing policy is to write letters, support my preferred candidates during election cycles, and VOTE!

I suppose I could get involved in some type of tax protest or civil disobedience, but I'm too concerned about the welfare of my children to go so far in rocking the boat at this time. On the other hand, I'm tired of being the radical right's doormat. I'm tired of being forced to do my part as a US citizen, while being systematically disenfranchised in my own country by a bunch of self-righteous people who seem only to peruse the Bible in order to find obscure passages to support their own agenda, while glossing over the greater message of love and forgiveness. These are the people Jesus was addressing when he said, "Love one another, as I have loved you," that is, without preconditions and unreservedly.

I suppose some could say that I am being intolerant of the intolerance of others. That could get very circular. The reality is that I do not want in any way to interfere in other people's religious beliefs or private practices, but I draw the line when it comes to the way that our central government handles the common welfare. When the decisions about the law of the land and the way tax dollars are used becomes subject to a particular religious viewpoint, then we are playing dangerously with state-imposed religion, contrary to the First Amendment of our constitution.

Have I ever had (or wanted to have) an abortion: No. Do I think abortions are reasonable safe from a health standpoint and should be a recognized and reimbursable health care option: Yes. That said, I do have some reservations. I would want to be sure that the woman involved is making the decision to have an abortion freely, without coercion from a partner or a parent or anyone else, and that she has access to supportive counseling before and after the abortion. If a woman is feeling coerced into having an abortion, I would (ideally) like her to have alternatives presented - in a non-coercive manner.

Do I want to marry another woman: No. Do I think two same-sex partners should be able to enjoy the same government protections and benefits that my husband and I do: Yes. Do I think they should be able to celebrate their commitment in a like-minded religious community, and even call it a marriage: Yes.

Now, go in peace to love and serve the world. Be the miracle.

Miscellany on a tired day

Why do the people of a state vote about whether two people can get married? This is one of those ponderous questions that keep me up at night. It's not like anyone is talking about group marriage, although, frankly, in this day of disintegrating extended families, I can see a place even for a group of people commiting to share living quarters, financial resources, and time. The only reason that there are referenda on the marriage question is that the two people involved are of the same gender. So? I often feel that I would like to have a wife, not because my intimate preferences lean that way, but because in my current living situation, I cannot seem to juggle all the hats that have been thrown my way, and it would be nice to have someone I know, care about, and can rely on, to be at home keeping house and handling some of the child care responsibilities. Of course, given my current living situation, we are edging closer to that group marriage thing. Ah, if only I could afford an au pair.

Domestic partnership in the public sector! Leave marriage as a religious sacrament, subject to religious canons. If a same-sex couple wants to commit, let them. They are not asking everyone into their bedroom. If they want to be married, they should join a religious community that accepts same-sex marriage. If two people want to dissolve their partnership, homosexual or heterosexual, they should get a divorce. There! Problem solved! Now, let's move on.....

Chris Christie was elected governor. I don't much care for Jon Corzine, but I dread having Crispie at the helm. I just hope the legislature has the will to keep him in check. I really don't want to have to start wearing a burka, literally or figuratively.


The priest who celebrated at church this week used the phrase "God of our fathers (stop)", as if our mothers didn't (and still don't) count. I was criticized for pointing this out, for being too sensitive, but it's easy for men to call women overly sensitive about being ignored. I expect non-whites have the same or similar feelings. A student of theology once commented that goddess-worship, or, as I prefer, acknowledging the divine within the feminine, was a step backward. I disagree, plain and simple. To me, if I believe that the Holy Spirit is in all the people, and that all Christians are called to ministry, then it is completely inappropriate to engender God as solely male.

In an interesting juxtaposition, I watched "Sicko" last night on TV. MM has a tendency to kill the horse, and then stand over it and beat on it vigorously, but under the overblown rhetoric, he is generally making a valid point. Why does this country not have public health care? We have Social Security, so why not a national health service? I just don't get it, and I never have. No one has ever come close to convincing me that medicine is better handled in the private sector. If everyone with a job paid as much for a national health service as an average health care premium deduction, it could work. One of the biggest failings of the Social Security Administration is that only the working poor and middle class pay for virtually the whole thing. The salary cap should be abolished with people making hundreds of thousands of dollars (even millions) paying a percentage on their whole salary. Major windfall for the system. Likewise, a national health service should have no salary cap. I'm tired of wildly overpaid executives, politicians, attorneys, celebrities griping about their taxes.

It's getting late, and I'm feeling discouraged. Down with Republicans! Down with Democrats! Government of the people, by the people, FOR the people!